Thursday, March 27, 2008

How much is too much?

When you're in a new relationship you want to see the other person all the time and you schedule your life around your partner. However, how much is too much of each other? I believe you can be madly in love with the other person and not have to spend every waking moment with them. Also, I think it is healthier to have other things that balance your life so you do not become dependent on your significant other to fill every desire and need in your life. I think in any healthy relationship you have to have real expectations of a another human being and not rest your whole happiness on them. I think to have a relationship that can meet its fullest potential the members that are involved in the relationship have to know who they are before they can fully commit their selves and love another person to the fullest. My grandma always used to say that a relationship needs to be like an H. not and A meaning that the two individuals that love each other need to be able to stand alone and have common connections that connect in the middle to have a prosperous relationship. A relationship that is like an A is bound to collapse. Relationships can be hard and confusing however they can be rewarding and wonderful so don't be afraid to take a chance even though there will be bumps and problems along the way that you will have to overcome. But just remember that it's not the problems along the way it's how you work as a team to overcome them.

3 comments:

valentino said...

im in a relationship right now and i feel that my girlfriend is really cute are you really cute ecause maybe you know my girlfriend

Darrah said...

I love what you grandma said about being an H and not an A, that is so beautiful! You completely right though,you have to be happy and comfortable with yourself before you can make anyone else happy.

Jeremy Hedman said...

While I do agree with you that people need to be able to stand alone in a relationship, I do not think the "H and A" analogy is entirely correct.

I'll start by saying that I believe the point of a family is for the family members to be able to lean on each other for support when needed. While it is not healthy to completely lean on your spouse, it is necessary to partially lean on your spouse for one thing or another. Such things as personal discussion and problems, comfort, sexual desires, etc requires a spouse on which to lean.

The problem with the representation of the "H" is that it is a model more often used in friendship rather than in marriage, which is quite a significant factor. Though, the "H" model should be the basis for the beginning of any romantic relationship that will eventually evolve into the intimacy and trust found in the "A" model.

Remember, most people have their friends and family in which to seek people to discuss their problems with and get comfort. Once someone is married, living with them, and working full time, their spouse is whom they go to as their friend and family.

Jeremy